Discovering more

The "Joy of Discovery" was the heart of the message of a church I attended last weekend while visiting my daughter and her family. We learned that the keys in making great discoveries included being open to God and to seek, hear and trust His truth. I spent some time trying to reflect on my own discoveries. Which was a bit of a challenge for me as my memories seem to be lost somewhere in the chaos of my life. Unable to recall the past I left service that day determined to discover some of my more in the here and now.

And what better teachers than my 3 year old granddaughter and my 7 week old grandson. Every distraction of mine seems to fall away when I'm in their presence. I love watching life through their eyes. The world seems more adventurous, life seems more creative and time seems more precious. Every day is a day filled with discoveries for them. It's simply natural. They don't know how not to discover. And its made me think about when that changed for me. When did I quit discovering? When did life begin to live and lead me instead of me living life? We watched the "Lion King" one afternoon and there is a profound statement (no judging) that Mufasa makes to his son Simba...he says, "You are not what you have become".(Imagine James Earl Jones voice.) Hmmm... am I? Parker Palmer in his book, Let Your Life Speak, asks the question, "Is the life we're living the life that wants to live in us?" I wonder. I stayed with my 3000 mile away friend during my visit. I love her. I'm convinced we are sisters separated at birth but since both my parents have died I have no way of verifying this. She continues to receive my daily devotions which interestingly enough almost always reflect where I'm at. She accepts my messiness and sometimes even joins me in it. She wanted to know if I think I'm in this season of life where I am reinventing myself. I thought a lot about that question. I decided I don't like that word. I don't want to reinvent, I want to discover who I am and stop being what I have become. I want to be open to the possibilities, to seek the truth, to hear God's voice and to trust in a faith that challenges me to lean into hope...always, especially in my messiness.

So what did I discover this week? That my more is filled with untapped depth and dimension. That I'm not just a meme, mom, sister, wife, friend, lover of Jesus. That by believing wholeheartedly in the One that created me allows me to embrace who I am...which is a meme, mom, sister, wife, friend and lover of Jesus. That discoveries aren't made in the future, they are made in the sweet precious moments of now. That grandchildren fill my heart with abundant joy, wonder and love... and that saying goodbye to my grandchildren...well saying goodbye... breaks my heart open.