For the past 12 days I have been immersed in grandma hood. It was as if the world got smaller. And I guess in a way it did, at least my world did and I loved it. 3000 miles is forever away between visits...so I decided to hit the pause button to everything else and soak up every moment of sweetness with my little wonders.
Nothing is more beautiful than being awakened by a wee little whisper voice saying, “Meme, I want to get in bed with you". And nothing takes my breath away more than the blue eyes of that little brother of “Meme’s girl”.
I decided I want to be more like them.
I want to adventure my way through the day…imagine, explore, giggle, play, nap, pretend, cuddle, breathe, read, take risks, jump, splash in puddles, hide and seek, and resist bedtime.
I want what they have.
Little brother’s greatest feat was discovering his hands…again and again. Meme’s girl danced into each day...after the appropriate amount of morning cuddle time of course. I feel lighter in their presence. I seem to breathe easier. Life seems simpler. Laughter erupts. Joy jumps. Love abounds. Sleep comes.
Mama of Meme’s girl and little brother would argue that is reason enough to move closer.
I wonder.
What does God have planned for me?
Should I fear it, or embrace it? Sometimes I don’t want to go where He leads me. I think because I don’t trust enough or believe enough or let go enough or pray enough or maybe I don’t play enough. I love when Jesus tells his disciples; “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these”. Mathew 19:14
I’ve been hindered…mostly by me.
So maybe it’s time… time I unhindered myself and play in the heaven on earth playground. I get to do this life. Poet Mary Oliver asks the question; “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” I want to live in each and every prized moment. I want to live and play my faith out loud. I want to dance naked before Jesus and trust that His love is enough,,, that I am enough and I belong to His kingdom. I want to be bold and brave and dangerous. I want to fill my heart with endless moments of God’s grace.
Meme’s girl asked if she could say grace one night and then decided that all she wanted to say is the “Amen” part. I want to say less and Amen more. I want to follow closer and listen harder. I want messy, irrational, foolish faith that plays and seeks and trusts.
So maybe instead of hitting the pause button to the ever demanding pressures of this world I hit the play button... and hold on tight.
Amen. Amen. Amen.
