Pause.

My morning devo texts have grown to about a dozen or so. I love spending a few moments of stillness with Jesus and sharing a scripture with my morning “small group”. Well, except for one, my Philadelphia girl. She told me this weekend she didn’t know what she believed anymore… it broke my heart. I imagined her getting these texts and rolling her eyes and sighing and struggling and denying and resisting and questioning and seeking and searching for what she doesn’t know. I respect that. I step in that place too. So now I research really cool, inspirational non-bible quotes and text them to her. She stretches me and teaches me about stuff I didn’t know I needed to learn. I love her. Her grace for me... well is just that, grace.

I send each devo text separately. It feels more personal; especially since they don’t all know each other. This morning’s devotion found me. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for in the proper time we will reap harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9. I always add a word for the day, mostly because it’s only one word and it’s easier to hold on to. The word today was pause. My farmer girl niece responded with “You should chant this entire scripture in your head on the way to work everyday…especially the weary and not giving up part.”

I rolled my eyes.

Because what I heard was “I should be stronger, I should be able to run the race, not grow weary, blah, blah blah.”

You see I’m a bit obsessive.

I want there to only be 3 emails in my inbox,

a Martha Stewart office with perfect handwritten labels for things I didn’t even know needed labels,

an empty card box (because I’ve actually sent all the cards I’ve bought over the past 10 years),

a bridal shower invitation worthy of a Pinterest post,

an intimate knowledge of my MacBook,

endless amounts of creativity

and finally I want words.

Words that tell my story of God’s redeeming Grace for my simple overflowing life of messy.

So.. I texted her (you know for clarification) and she said that God gives us encouragement, and that I should trust that.

I am enough.

I don’t need to give up

in order to

rest,

breathe,

or

pause.

So I will resist the obsessive urges today and my desire to run away and instead choose to run towards... pause.

I'm guessing it's there...where I will discover a storehouse of words.